One of the hardest things about dementia is when Mom or Dad doesn't know you anymore. It doesn't matter that you've read The 36-Hour Day, or go to the local Alzheimer's symposium every year; it's just hard.
My Dad didn't have Alzheimer's, but at the end of his life, in the advanced stages of pancreatic cancer, he did not recognize me the last time I saw him alive. There is just no way to prepare for the first time that happens.
I just found a brand-new blog, My Father Doesn't Know Me Anymore, that addresses the many complex feelings that come with caring for a loved one with dementia. Finding the blog was accidental--I was looking at Katten & Benson's website statistics on Wordpress, and saw that we had been linked to on this blog. I followed the link out of curiosity, not sure what I'd find.
It turns out that the author is a client's daughter. I have worked with her and her father for about three years. As Lucy says in the blog, we have been through some ups and downs, but what relationship, even a professional one, doesn't have ups and downs? Lucy says some nice things about me and Steve Katten, the attorney I work for, but what I appreciate most about Lucy's blog is her honesty. She tells you what it is like to be a caregiver--the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.
Lucy and her sister are some of the fiercest advocates for a parent I have ever met, and they are truly inspiring. I plan to read Lucy's blog on a regular basis, and I hope you do, too.